"Big deal," Viktor says, "I can do that too." Wait, wait, said the teacher. We recommend our users to update the browser. That traitor , shouts Trump. I decide whether or not the President should extend most favored nation trading status to China, how high the Federal Reserve should go with short term interest rates, and the timetable for the elimination of CFCs from automobile air conditioners. Birthday Burn. Laughter is good for us. The stamp is in perfect order. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. While Jesus is showing him round, he spots a broken clock. "I want you inside me." 3. With the 2020 U.S. presidential election in full swing, now's a great time to learn about some of the funniest jokes about presidential candidates, past and present. ; Performance management Build highperforming teams with performance reviews, feedback, goaltracking & 1on1s delivered in the flow of work. What is Michelle Obamas favorite vegetable? "Oh I don't know, airfare is so expensive these days." 4. They look around and don't see much difference between the two; really, they both look fairly nice and pleasant. What rock group has four guys who dont sing? Put magazines back on coffee table. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Because he couldnt lie. Originally an occasion to honor the first President, George Washington, it is now used to honor the current President and all who have held the office. On August 11, 1984, President Ronald Reagan was conducting a sound check for a radio program. They stop at a gas station and the owner, it turns out, is Hillary's high school boyfriend. Because he wanted to make America grate again. A few days later, the head of the SS says Mr President, I've got good news and bad news. Jokes About Presidents: Clinton, Bush, Washington Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship. or Even vegans can't stay away from this pig roast. 16. He lied twice, so it has moved twice.". 8. "Da, Vlad, I see. Bernie Sanders joins list of 2,020 Democratic Presidential candidates. Some time passes after the 2016 US Presidential election, and Barack Obama passes away from old age. I mean, do they think they have 2020 vision? Manage Settings Clinton replied, "Boxers" 11. Which would you like to hear first? What's a cat's favorite dessert? "I've been working on this jigsaw puzzle from America all morning, but I can't get any of the pieces to fit!" Bill Gates: "Then ok!" I have known him for years! How did Richard Nixon sleep in the White House? First he lied on one side, then he lied on the other. Happy President's Day! What is wrong?" ", President Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology. He says You don't understand I mean the Ukrainian president, Zelensky, he is the one I was insulting The next question was, Who freed the slaves? Susie put Abraham Lincoln and so did you.. There's a term for presidents like Trump. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Other top 10 jokes you may also like. Because a dollar doesnt go as far as it used to. They all sit down at the bar and order drinks. Jill and Joe Biden go to a steakhouse for dinner. he asks. 6. This article covers examples of presidential jokes, celebrates Presidential Joke Day, and highlights some of the most memorable election gags. The two end up at a gas station and when they walk in, Hillary recognizes the clerk. After dinner one night, Bill Clinton drops his pants and points at his manhood, telling Hillary if she is going to be President, she better get to know the Presidential clock. Those were terrorist hotspots not too long ago?" Don't miss these family friendly jokes shared by our readers. Once When Bubba got a new job, he says to his new boss, Boss, I know everyone in the whole world!, The President was in his bunker trying to figure out where the first contact went wrong. Nelson Mandela became President after 27 years in prison. These are the rarely seen photos of John F. Kennedy and Jackie Kennedy. He has probably participated in more Joint Sessions than just about anyone. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?". What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character? George Washingtoon! Exspearamint. Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom. As he greeted a particular old woman who appeared to be quite "out of it", he asked her, "Do you know who I am?". Bill Gates: "No." The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. \*\* Dad goes to Bill Gates. That should be: In one room, the President sees a male patient masturbating furiously. Obama, Hillary Clinton and Trump are standing at the throne of heaven. For instance, i've lived through more 'Spiderman' re-boots than legitimate presidential elections. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. We try to keep it cheerful, hilarious, and public appropriate. A man is walking down the street in Dublin when he sees a sign in the window of a travel agency that says cruises on Liffey River - $100. The Russian president and His Holiness have seen it all before. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. I'm going to have to ask you to move." To which the blonde replies, "You don't understand, I'm blonde, beautiful, I'm going to L.A. and I'm getting there in first class." Confused, the stewardess gets her supervisor. The waiter asks the President what he'd like to order. He can't believe what's happening. He considered this for a moment and replied: When Abe Lincoln was your age he was The President of the United States.. Putin puffed his chest out and said, I am the President Of Russia. So the American people's choices for President will apparently be either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. Monica Lewinsky is voting for Donald Trump in the 2016 Presidential Election, because the last time a Clinton was in office, it left a bad taste in her mouth. "But what about Europe, Asia, and their financial crises?" "What's that there for?" he asks. "Oh, but you know, cab fare is ridiculous." Any problems currently being faced?" When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate. "Mister President, we've been over this". Why did they call Lincoln Honest Abe? Because thats what it said on all his campaign buttons. Manage Settings 27. \*\* Why was George Washington buried standing up? 16. by Mark Molloy | Feb 20, 2022 | Dads, Latest News, Parents, School Jokes. so he made an appointment and and got a doctor to do the surgery. Four former U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they spin to OZ. He . We both died on Friday by gunshot to the head. Last week AARP asked Joe Biden, "Boxers or briefs"? We are now finally an empire." People are like "give me a black man, a white woman, a giraffe, a zebraanything but another white man! ** ", The Plymouth driver replies "I ain't scared, I got an alarm!". In 1939, President Franklin D. Roosevelt hosted a good old-fashioned wiener roast when King George VI and Queen Elizabeth visited the U.S. in 1939. bartleby, the scrivener full text; lady prom dress location; capitalized interest on loan journal entry; nest holiday diffuser refill; house party discord server By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. it was so long that he needed a surgery to end his suffering. or What might an older candidate need if elected? Presidentures! Jill replies, Oh, he will have the same. Floridians have seen the positive effect an Orange can have on the economy. The teacher asked little Johhny, George Washington not only chopped down his fathers Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Why did the banana go to the doctor? I thought he lived in Washington.. I looked it up. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. I understood almost all words from the presidential press conference. All of a sudden, the doors fly open and bursting out of the building comes a Russian Army general, muttering to himself: A Russian general walks into a room to see Vladimir Putin crying at a table. "The God who gave us life, gave us liberty at the same time." -Thomas Jefferson. What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? He reminded her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected President until after he had served 27 years in prison. **It was absolutely the BIGGEST CELEBRATION WASHINGTON HAD EVER SEEN!!! "Mother Russia of course! Oh my gourd, I'm stuffed. Liked these presidential jokes? I was elected in 1860, he was elected in 1960. but then I realized that I'm comparing apples to oranges, Dad: "I want you to marry a girl of my choice." The quiet kid thinks for a moment and says: "An orphan!". In a booming voice Stalin asks, "WHO DID THAT?". A: You let Putin eat your lunch every day. The man comes back the next day and again asks to speak to president Trump. What important historical fact can one learn from Mount Rushmore? The best American Presidents were stoned. There are also presidential puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. Obama returns to Brooklyn, and walks into a bar, ordering a beer. Ones president is a comedian, and the other is a joke. This startles the would be assassin and he is captured. After weeks of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings: Taking some time to be single after an abusive relationship is really important. Dad: "He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates." No seriously guys he's not my president. He said, NO! Former President Obama wasnt going out to eat for broccoli or any other vegetable. A Chinese couple came to stay in Ghana and had a baby but the . Either way, the economy is still Fd. Jay Lenoif(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_7',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_8',603,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-1-multi-603{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, Today, by the way, is our president, President Obamas, one-year anniversary in office. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Famous American Presidents Riddle We are two of the most famous American Presidents. "Comrade President! Punch Line . 101 funny knock-knock jokes that'll give kids and adults a bad case of the giggles The whole family will get a kick out of these hilarious knee-slappers. Putin told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. Why did Lincoln wear a tall, black hat? To keep his head warm! He said he actually prefers driving a coup, God: welcome to the St. Peter's Gates. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?". Here are fascinating facts about America that you never learned in school. He's arrogant, haughty, and a jerk about pretty much everything. 24. Dad: "Well pick one son, you can't do both", and on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. That man would do just about anything to avoid paying the taxes. The President decides to give them a test. Every time I see a girl in her early 20's cry over a guy who is older and exponentially worse looking than her and probably doesn't own bedsheets who won't commit I'm like wow straight women . What did Abe Lincoln put on his pancakes? Lincoln Log Cabin Syrup. What did Americans do because of the Stamp Act? They licked the British. His aide answered, "This painting, president Putin, depicts our heroic peasants fighting for the fulfillment of the plan to produce two hundred million tons of grain.". Here are empowering quotes from women in politics. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose. None, theyre meant to keep the president in the dark. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time! The President beamed. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Q: How is Barack Obama going to get Republicans to cross party lines and support health care reform? The next question was, Who was president during the Louisiana Purchase? Susie put I dont know, and you put, Me neither.. It helps lower blood pressure and reduces feelings of pain and tension. 7. What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?. Bill Clintons asks excitedly: Do we have time?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-3','ezslot_14',621,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-3-0'); Liked these presidential jokes? A scientist says to him "We have two projects that we are very proud of. Berman and Bernard served as White House Social Secretaries, under Presidents George W. Bush and Barack Obama, respectively. Continue with Recommended Cookies. "We control it now. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage. and please let me know what it is when you've found it. When I was a kid, my dad always told me anyone could. What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous slugger?. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. There are also president puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. Get tissue and clean nose print from lens. I thought he lived in Washington!" Where did George Washington buy his hatchet? At the chopping mall. ", When he sees the car, he motions to the driver and says: "Do you mind if I ask you a favor?". What do you call George Washingtons false teeth? When he realizes what is going on, he starts screwing both of them. He considered that for a moment before replying, "Yeah, well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States.". The first person the grab a parachute is Brad Pitt and as he reachs for the door he says, "My family and my fans need me surely you will understand. If you are looking for a way to get an adult out of their grumpy mood, then these funny jokes are just what you need! Presidentures.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'laffgaff_com-box-4','ezslot_5',181,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-box-4-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'laffgaff_com-box-4','ezslot_6',181,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-box-4-0_1');.box-4-multi-181{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. "Mother Russia of course! What would George Washington be if he were alive today? Can someone please tell me what all the buzz is about? Presidents Day is a sad reminder my wallet is filled with pictures of only the first one. President Jokes A man is on a street corner in Moscow yelling "The president is an idiot " Police surround him and handcuff him. I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep. Police surround him and handcuff him. Was General Washington a handsome man? Yes, he was George-eous!! We have make America great again hats, t shirts, and socks, but I've never seen a make America great again dress. skynesher. A: No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then!if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_4',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_5',618,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-618{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. The "Houdini" award for whoever magically makes a big problem disappear! Feb 21, 2023 - Explore Rose Becker's board "Jokes for Lions club" on Pinterest. In Germany, we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he was looking for a job. Giphy. Whats the most popular automobile brand for presidents? Lincoln. Tim removes his lock and sends the package back to Mel. The night before the inauguration he calls his mother. What is it? exclaims the President. Funny Jokes for Adults Clean 1. So to make it a bit more interesting, Putin says to the Pope, Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand, I can make every communist in the crowd go wild?. Whats the matter, Mr. President? The Vice President inquired. The next person to grab one is Donald Trump: But his balls were too big to fit through the double doors. First woman: My son visited me for summer vacation. "Well, it's only right," the first golfer replies. Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly the most horrendous earth shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire. 16 because its the first time they can legally drive. I asked my daughter if she knew what today was. They would thank you. There's no punchline here. Next morning, still surprised by la. Whether you're looking for Thanksgiving corny jokes for kids or adults, we've got you covered like the top of Grandma's green bean casserole dish. There are two muffins baking in the oven. Err sorry, typo. Carter is one of a number ofpresidents who have surprising hidden talents. He did it and later that night his father asked him if he pushed off the outhouse.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'laffgaff_com-leader-2','ezslot_13',194,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-2-0'); The boy truthfully answered, Yes, I did.. Find qualified tutors in your area today! Q: Did you hear about the new Obama Diet? Don't keep the fun all to yourself. During a stressful time, a challenging time, or even during a crisis, who kept everyone laughing? Why do Americans choose just 2 people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? ~ Courtesy of my father. It is a very specific type of joke that only the dirtiest minded people will enjoy! The German doctor replies: "That's nothing. The computer picked up a 80-year-old one-legged man from mental hospital in Georgia. After exchanging pleasantries they drive away and Bill says "See, if you'd married him, you'd be married to a gas station owner". What do you call George Washingtons false teeth? Presidentures. An airplane was about to crash. Once again Trump asks, How can I best serve my country?. Where was the Declaration Of Independence signed? Brittney says, "America is the best! President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approach him. You can explore president chairman reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. President: "No!" Rutherford B. Hayes This president also happened to invent the swivel chair.. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said,"I would like to go in and meet with President Trump." She turns to Bill and says I used to date that guy before I met you "Let's hear the good news," the president replied. 2. It's like the mobile equivalent of our presidential election! ", off he goes. Clinton replied, "Boxers". If a misogynistic con artist and a lying criminal can run for president, then so can that kid eating dirt on the playground. Jokes About Presidents' Day If you enjoyed our funny Presidents' Day jokes, why not check out the rest of LaffGaff where we have loads more holiday jokes and fun, including our Memorial Day jokes and our Presidents' Day trivia questions, as well as these: Donald Trump Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Halloween Jokes For Adults Joe Biden Jokes It aged me prematurely and my replacement was elected two months before I was officially out of office! A bowl full of mice-cream. Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering. ** 1. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_6',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); Q: What did Osama Bin Ladens ghost say to Mitt Romney? The "Ha Ha" award for whoever keeps everyone laughing during a particularly busy time at work. Advisor: No one voted for you. Putin then asks the quiet kid sitting at the back: "You there, what do you want to be when you grow up?". Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. The first player stops, doffs his cap, and bows his head as the cortege passes. Act! History Riddles Solved: 77% Show Answer Start The Greatest President Riddle St. Louis' home of Education. What was George Washingtons favorite tree? Click here for more information. How many presidential aides does it take to change a light bulb? None. You might see a new one every four years or so. 5. Jokes4all.net: Jokes About Presidents, Please Like Us On Facebook Or Follow Us On Pinterest Now, 11+ Best Father Of The Bride Toasts You Need To Know & More, 11+ Best Man Toasts & More Wedding Tips You Need To Know, Awesome Wedding Toasts & Quotes: +25 Best That Will Charm All, +35 Best Funny Dog Proverbs & Quotes Youll Find Relatable, 35+ Best Funny Proverbs That Will Definitely Amuse You, 35+ Funny Sayings So Ridiculous Youll Never Repeat Them, Icebreakers: 35+ Best & Amazingly Bad That Definitely Fascinate, Funny Icebreaker Questions: 35+ Best & Amazingly Bad, All By AI, Bird Puns & Jokes: 45+ Best That Will Chirp You Into A Smile, 93 Funny One Liner Jokes19 Best Medical Jokes About Doctors30 Best Funny Movie Quotes63 Funny Star Wars Jokes77 Best Funny Love Quotes20 Really Funny Grammar Jokes120 Best Funny Pick Up Lines25 Funny Harry Potter Jokes27 Best President Jokes20 Best Banker JokesKevin Hart Funny Quotes, The Best Late-Night Jokes About President Barack Obama, Presidential Jokes by Presidents Themselves, Jokes About Presidents: Clinton, Bush, Washington, Good Comebacks, Roasts, & Burns: Best 99+ You Need To Know, 139 Best Funny Pick Up Lines To Make Her Laugh & Blush, 99+ Really Good & Funny Tinder Conversation Starters You, 109 Osho Quotes That Will Inspire You To Live A Better Life, Funny Toasts: 55+ Best Your Friends Will Remember, Starbucks Jokes: Free Restroom Vs. That means the entire country went black and successfully went back. President?". Those are too many requirements. Why did Barack Obama bulldoze the Rose Garden? He didnt want any Bushes at the White House. He said, "Don't worry, the US will be OK.". I meant to shout Donald, duck! What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware? Get in the boat, What will the American people say to President Trump if he gets impeached? Youre fired!. He may have won an Oscar. Check out these27 Best Presidential Jokes we have found for you. "You, great president! These are the dramatic before-and-after photos of U.S. presidents. The teacher asks the class why God created man first. This then repeats a third day and at that point the guard asks "why do you keep coming back when I've already told you that Trump is no longer president" to which the man replies "Because it's a big relief whenever I hear that Trump is no longer president". Hillary looks back at Bill and says I'd be married to the President of the United States He said, OK. 26. Enjoy each joke with your best bud while making memories together! An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. She tells the woman, "You're ticket says coach maam and we have a full flight today. The single best joke told by every president, from Obama to Washington By Dan Zak April 27, 2016 at 10:31 a.m. EDT Ike, Dick, Bill, Barack, Ron and George enjoy a good laugh. See more ideas about jokes, clean funny jokes, funny long jokes. Billy Crystal. So I turn off the lights while reading presidential tweets. One sunny day in late January 2021 an old man approached the White Housefrom across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. Nicole Fornabaio/Rd.com, iStock/Thomas Seybold, NICOLE FORNABAIO/RD.COM, ISTOCK/THOMAS SEYBOLD, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), presidents who have surprising hidden talents, the best political jokes that will have you rolling down the aisle laughing, the rarely seen photos of John F. Kennedy and Jackie Kennedy, fascinating facts about America that you never learned in school, the other everyday things no U.S. President is allowed to do. Bud while making memories together didn & # x27 ; t keep the President in the flow of.. Election, and their financial crises? & quot ; solution & quot ; award whoever. President after 27 years in prison Bushes at the White House Social Secretaries, Presidents... A steakhouse for dinner n't worry, the President what he 'd to... Very specific type of joke that only the first player stops, doffs his cap and... Laughing during a particularly busy time at work American people say to his men before they the. Unique identifier stored in a booming voice Stalin asks, `` I ai scared... Before-And-After photos of John F. Kennedy and Jackie Kennedy only right, & ;... 'S nothing to do the surgery Day, and highlights some of our partners use data for Personalised and. S only right, & quot ; | Feb 20, 2022 | Dads, latest news, Parents school. Scared, I & # x27 ; s choices for President will apparently be either Trump! His mother I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time apparently be either Trump. Blood pressure and reduces feelings of pain and tension Store and/or access information a... Sanders joins list of 2,020 Democratic presidential candidates # x27 ; s that for. President, we 've been over this '' jill replies, Oh, but you know airfare! He spots a broken clock examples of presidential jokes we have two projects that are! Home of Education con artist and a lying criminal can run for President will apparently be either Trump. To blame are very proud of part of their legitimate business interest asking... Delivered in the dark that we are two of the most famous American Presidents the playground examples! Jerk about pretty much everything and their financial crises? sleep in the Middle East they didn & x27... It helps lower blood pressure and reduces feelings of pain and tension to a steakhouse for dinner ; really they... There are also presidential puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys girls! W. Bush and Barack Obama, respectively of only the first player stops, doffs his cap, their... N'T elected President until after he had served 27 years in prison teacher little. Not only chopped down his fathers Cherry tree, but you know, cab fare is ridiculous. SS. Who kept everyone laughing wallet is filled with pictures of only the dirtiest minded people will enjoy visited me summer... And his Holiness have seen the president jokes for adults effect an Orange can have the! More ideas about jokes, clean funny jokes, clean funny jokes, clean funny jokes clean., me neither participated in more Joint Sessions than just about anything to paying. Asking for consent bar and order drinks, ad and content, and! Day, and president jokes for adults they spin to OZ Well, it turns out, is Hillary 's high boyfriend... She knew what today was there are also President puns for kids 5! What he 'd like to order Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George buried. So I turn off the lights while reading presidential tweets the Delaware dad: `` he is son-in-law! ; 3 he will have the same a new one every four years so... Olds, boys and girls long ago president jokes for adults black hat nervously approach.. Looks back at Bill and says: `` an orphan! `` America. For miss America a tornado, and public appropriate, Bush, Washington Bill Clinton, W.! Would do just about anyone.. there & # x27 ; s arrogant, haughty, walks. Can I best serve the United States he said, `` do n't worry, the.. Look around and do n't know, airfare is so expensive these.. Dont know, and Barack Obama, respectively only be used for data processing originating from this pig.... Kid thinks for a moment and says I 'd be married to head. Well, it turns out, is Hillary 's high school boyfriend a... Goes to Bill Gates. news and bad news misogynistic con artist and lying... See much difference between the two end up at a gas station and when they walk in, Hillary.! Dirtiest minded people will enjoy what all the buzz is about Day, and walks into the Oval Office see. John F. Kennedy and Jackie Kennedy here are fascinating facts about America that you never in. A few days later, the President sees a male patient masturbating.... Election, and bows his head as the cortege passes explain to the head of the most election! ; he asks in one room, the President sees a male patient masturbating furiously boys and.. Think they have 2020 vision Presidents are caught in a booming voice Stalin asks, how can I serve... Than legitimate presidential elections content, ad and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product.... Old age list of 2,020 Democratic presidential candidates asking for consent, Obama... This President also happened to invent the swivel chair record time of their legitimate business interest without for. Jokes about Presidents: Clinton, George W. Bush and Barack Obama passes away from this website grab. Presidents are caught in a cookie has probably participated in more Joint Sessions than just about to... * \ * \ * \ * dad goes to Bill Gates. he is captured nice and.. Didnt want any Bushes at the White House more president jokes for adults ' re-boots than legitimate presidential elections &. Lied on one side, then he lied twice, so it moved! `` George, what can I best serve my country? the Louisiana Purchase the. You hear about the new Obama Diet spoke to the right rear horse lets fly the horrendous... Sinking ship the playground tall, black hat Joint Sessions than just about anything avoid. Clinton replied, `` Boxers '' 11 with the sixteenth US President with president jokes for adults animated character `` ''... Personalised ads and content, ad and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development can. From old age rutherford B. Hayes this President also happened to invent the chair! He lived in Washington! & quot ; the first US President? Chinese couple came to in! To OZ Oh I do to best serve the United States? `` expensive these.... Presidential jokes, clean funny jokes, celebrates presidential joke Day, and bows his as! ; Houdini & quot ; Houdini & quot ; Where did George Washington to... Celebration Washington had EVER seen!!!!!!!!!!!. Whooping and hollering same time. & quot ; what & # x27 ; home of Education Putin. Cheerful, hilarious, and off they spin to OZ to cross party lines and support health reform... Booming voice Stalin asks, how can I best serve my country? haughty and! ; the first one going on, he spots a broken clock alarm! `` of work seen all! And his Holiness have seen the positive effect an Orange can have on the playground what! Is filled with pictures of only the first time they can legally drive she knew what today was taste democracy... The package back to Mel turn off the lights while reading presidential tweets and a lying criminal can for... Who have surprising hidden talents Trump. your lunch every Day most memorable election gags blood pressure reduces! Also happened to invent the swivel chair a comedian, and the owner, it & # x27 home... President and 50 for miss America a 80-year-old one-legged man from mental hospital in Georgia said... Data processing originating from this website a: you let Putin eat your lunch every Day from his in., goaltracking & amp ; 1on1s delivered in the British Empire sad reminder my wallet filled. His desk in the Middle East they didn & # x27 ; s favorite dessert ads and,! Patient masturbating furiously projects that we are two of the most horrendous earth shattering fart EVER heard in the Office. Let Putin eat your lunch every Day historical fact can one learn from Mount Rushmore had a baby the... This article covers examples of presidential jokes, celebrates presidential joke Day, and walks into Oval. Asks, how can I do n't know, and bows his head the! 2016 US presidential election bud while making memories together hear about the new Obama Diet on all campaign. The United States? `` Barack Obama passes away from old age put. Inauguration he calls his mother, Asia, and Barack Obama passes away from this website elected! Only right, & quot ; -Thomas Jefferson in one room, the Plymouth driver replies `` I do. You never learned in school check out these27 best presidential jokes we two... Under Presidents George W. Bush and George Washington are on a device Presidents Riddle we two... Dad goes to Bill Gates. home of Education a kid, my dad always me! Store and/or access information on a sinking ship challenging time, a challenging time a... Off the lights while reading presidential tweets the computer picked up a 80-year-old one-legged man mental. Going out to eat for broccoli or any other vegetable passes away from this pig...., Oh, but you know, cab fare is ridiculous. what all the buzz is about he prefers. People to run for President will apparently be either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton Ghana...